Ruminations on skiing w/a group -- esp. men

[Pequenita]

But I would point out that a key word in your questions is "platonically"; throw in any attempt at seduction (which often translates in male minds as trying to impress, esp. when they're young), and the whole game changes. The most life threatening scenario I can imagine along those lines is : 20-something male out on a first date skiing... with a much better female skier who has a thing for double black diamonds.

Indeed - yes, I wrote "platonically" very intentionally.

 

[Tytlynz64]

I took a group lesson/tour at Whistler on a whiteout day. The guide instructor was a young lady from NZ and the group was three other women from Toronto and London ont. all intermediates to advanced. As the weather was brutal evryone was facemasked and hearing each other was difficult at times in the wind which lead to alot of follow me from the guide. The i teresting thing was we all figured out a natural order to go in based on ability and turn shapes. These women were technically sound and finished their turns well. I went last because I was making longer turns and screw up those following me. When it came to anfew off piste runs, Inwent first bc I could bust through some of the mankier snow and they could see my 6 7 frame in the whiteout conditions. It was fun and I learned more from watching these ladies trust their technique. I tend to trust my athleticism when the going gets weird. We all agreed our guide was a fine skier but would tend to blow down the hill out of sight and leave us to find her instead of following her.

 

[eok]

...

Not so great scenario: skiing with other people who I want to impress, for whatever reason. Which, when I introspect a little, happens way too often. The specifics vary, but it can lead to some dumb behavior, usually involving going too fast for my skill vs. the conditions. The important thing here is that the pressure I experience is entirely self-generated - I don't remember any situation in skiing where I felt that someone was pressuring me to do something unsafe. Again, I'm sure this very different from mens' experiences.

Ditto. Gilty of this too. I could imagine a humorous thread dedicated to just this: "How I humiliated myself attempting to show how good a skier I (thought I) was."

 

[Guy in Shorts]

Saturday we had my Wife’s godson with 4 of his knucledragging buddies. They moved like a bunch of old ladies. Normally our pod is made up of my Wife, freewheeling sidekick buddy and friend who is 16 months post glioblastoma tumor removal who is now taking the holistic approach. We keep a close eye our friend making sure she not having a seizure or vertigo issues. Has me looking at every run as it may be my last. One day at a time - One run at a time. Living in the moment.

Starting everyday possible on the top of a mountain is medicine for the soul. Here is Friday’s dose.

 

[skix]

Normally our pod is made up of my Wife, freewheeling sidekick buddy and friend who is 16 months post glioblastoma tumor removal who is now taking the holistic approach. We keep a close eye our friend making sure she not having a seizure or vertigo issues. Has me looking at every run as it may be my last. One day at a time - One run at a time. Living in the moment.

Amen. Lost a family member to glioblastoma. Awesome that your friend is still skiing.

 

[Jenny]

Amen. Lost a family member to glioblastoma. Awesome that your friend is still skiing.

Me, too. It's an awful one . . .

 

[Philpug]

I tend to be more and more conservative when skiing now especially within groups. I try not to push anyone past their comfort zone/limits, I try my best to explain the options and will err to to the side of caution. If they choose to go into the terrain it is their choice.

When we skied Whistler in milk bottle conditions, we had to trust the leaders and IMHO, they could have not done a better job taking us where they did.

 

[TheArchitect]

I've skied solo for most of my life so I'm very comfortable doing it, and prefer it a lot of the time. My days of top-to-bottom runs are long gone so I stop whenever my legs tell me to and wait as long as I need. I don't like the pressure of trying to keep up. I do love skiing with my son, though.

I'm very interested in how things will go when I attend the Gathering. It will be the first time I ski in a group of more than 2 since I was a teen, 30 years ago. I'm thinking the "everyone meet at the bottom of this lift" is going to be my best bet, especially in the afternoon when my legs are typically screaming at me. Throw in some altitude and yeah, I'll see you at the bottom.

As for the peer pressure component, it doesn't affect me anymore. I don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks of me! That's the beauty of pushing 49 years old.

 

[Monique]

I'm very interested in how things will go when I attend the Gathering. It will be the first time I ski in a group of more than 2 since I was a teen, 30 years ago. I'm thinking the "everyone meet at the bottom of this lift" is going to be my best bet, especially in the afternoon when my legs are typically screaming at me. Throw in some altitude and yeah, I'll see you at the bottom.

TBH, skiing with a group of 12-20 people is not my cup of tea. But then, I don't think it is for most people. I think you'll find that the groups will separate out a bit. That's tricky when there are only so many people who know the mountain, though. Pros/cons. You'll be able to meet back up at lunch, where the lodges with the best food will be infested with Puggers.

 

[Seldomski]

I primarily ski resorts, so my comments are focused on that---

Any more than 3 others with me feels too big for a group. I prefer skiing with just 2 others ideally. Once you are on more than one chair (and certainly on 3+), the group feels large to me.

In big groups, I often see:

1) People stop checking uphill and proceed even when there is uphill traffic. In large groups it's really hard to proceed sequentially safely, since you won't get a gap in skiers large enough to allow the whole group to go one after another.
2) People get more tunnel vision or have too much to focus on. They are concentrating on following 1 or more people + skiing vs. just their own skiing. With a large group, you have more baggage to sort through -- remembering 7 outfits is harder than just a couple. Also, you have to keep tabs on multiples in case one in the group goes the wrong way. You don't want to be that guy that follows the wrong way.
3) An aura of invincibility/superiority can set in. Since you are part of a large group, you take more risks and/or cut off others not in the group. This seems to be especially true in lessons - though lessons may partially be due to people thinking through drills/ski technique more than usual.
4) Lots of waiting and more complaining... both of which kill stoke.

As far as doing dumb things as part of a herd... I haven't really felt that in resort skiing. Though I have had people follow me when I told them specifically not to, having given them an alternate easier route...

 

[clong83]

I primarily ski resorts, so my comments are focused on that---

Any more than 3 others with me feels too big for a group. I prefer skiing with just 2 others ideally. Once you are on more than one chair (and certainly on 3+), the group feels large to me.

In big groups, I often see:

1) People stop checking uphill and proceed even when there is uphill traffic. In large groups it's really hard to proceed sequentially safely, since you won't get a gap in skiers large enough to allow the whole group to go one after another.
2) People get more tunnel vision or have too much to focus on. They are concentrating on following 1 or more people + skiing vs. just their own skiing. With a large group, you have more baggage to sort through -- remembering 7 outfits is harder than just a couple. Also, you have to keep tabs on multiples in case one in the group goes the wrong way. You don't want to be that guy that follows the wrong way.
3) An aura of invincibility/superiority can set in. Since you are part of a large group, you take more risks and/or cut off others not in the group. This seems to be especially true in lessons - though lessons may partially be due to people thinking through drills/ski technique more than usual.
4) Lots of waiting and more complaining... both of which kill stoke.

As far as doing dumb things as part of a herd... I haven't really felt that in resort skiing. Though I have had people follow me when I told them specifically not to, having given them an alternate easier route...

I generally ski either by myself, or in a group of four or less similarly skilled skiers. Minimal waiting, unless someone bites it hard, and that's exactly when you do want a group around to make sure you are okay. I also don't mind getting separated if that's what happens (at least in bounds...) If I am not feeling up for it, I have no problem leaving the group and taking it easy. A surprising amount of the time, the whole group then says, "yeah, let's do a couple of easy runs and relax a bit" and joins me.

Back to the Original Poster, though. The solution: Ski with more groups of women. Not that they are less talented, but if the alpha male competition thing is a problem for you and makes you push harder than you want to, then that goes away.

 

[clong83]

TBH, skiing with a group of 12-20 people is not my cup of tea. But then, I don't think it is for most people. I think you'll find that the groups will separate out a bit. That's tricky when there are only so many people who know the mountain, though. Pros/cons. You'll be able to meet back up at lunch, where the lodges with the best food will be infested with Puggers.

I think most of those large groups are often tourists, and I wonder how they stay together all day (or even if they do). Like a church group, ski club from out of town, or some such. Don't know for sure, as I've never skied in a group that large, nor do I have any desire to. Seems horribly impractical, as the most social part of the sport is the lift ride, which is usually designed for 2-6 (coincidentally what I think of as a reasonable group size). On the way down, a group with 10 or more will just clog up the slopes and get in each other's way if they try to stay together.

 

[Sibhusky]

I think most of those large groups are often tourists, and I wonder how they stay together all day (or even if they do). Like a church group, ski club from out of town, or some such. Don't know for sure, as I've never skied in a group that large, nor do I have any desire to. Seems horribly impractical, as the most social part of the sport is the lift ride, which is usually designed for 2-6 (coincidentally what I think of as a reasonable group size). On the way down, a group with 10 or more will just clog up the slopes and get in each other's way if they try to stay together.

The clubs that come here do that. They ski in groups of 15 or so, all together, oblivious to anyone else. It drives me NUTS. None of them are looking uphill, the guy leading is always cutting you off, and now there are a heap more crossing as if they have right of way. Maybe the first guy did, but the last guy can't say that. They are just so focused on staying with the group that they've shut off all their situational awareness.

 

[Monique]

Though I have had people follow me

I like to explore, which means that I might traverse hundreds of feet to get to a promising maybe-powder stash, which in turn might hide a bunch of rocks. Or end up bushwhacking through trees when the line I thought I saw gets tighter or tighter ... So people see me come back from my adventure with snow up past my shins (or whatever) and say they want to go where I'm going. I always suggest that they not. It's not that my path is particularly demanding technically; it's that they're likely to mess up their skis or feel like they wasted their time. And they may think that I know where I'm going, while I often do not - and do not want to be responsible for getting them into whatever mess I'm getting myself into.

 

[Scrundy]

I generally go skiing in a group, but once we get off the lift we split. The whole standing at the top of the mountain conversation “ want to do this run” gets old quickly. The guys I ski with vary in age and ability so it just works out as a better experience for all involved. We meet for lunch and yell to each other from lift when we see each other. I prefer to ski alone for sure,maybe that’s why I’ve never tried to make it to any gatherings.

 

[Monique]

I prefer to ski in a group, but it has to be the right group, or someone (possibly everyone) will have a suboptimal experience. If you all have similar tastes, and at least one of you knows the mountain well, it can be really good. I ski with a bunch of people who all know Breck very well, so not only is it generally pretty obvious where we'd want to go ("Can't see shit - let's go to E Chair", "It's 9:45 - I bet 6 chair is open," "I heard they just dropped the rope on Whale's Tail," etc), but it takes very little conversation to choose. ("Ugh, look at the line on 6 chair." "Yeah, let's go to E Chair." *fini*)

 

[Andy Mink]

respect

There's that word again!

 

[Andy Mink]

Worst group dynamic is the person who says, "Where should we go" and you reply and they say "I don't want to do that one". One time is OK. Two times is a bit annoying. Any more than that and I say "you pick" or "I'll meet you at the bottom. Maybe."

 

[Jack skis]

When Crested Butte had Club Med we saw lots of groups skiing together, groups of perhaps 10 skiers. They followed their Instructor in great swooping S turns down the trails, and apparently had little regard for others on the mountain. In that case groups were a real problem. In lift corrals they assumed they had priority and ignored the usual spacing of lines and just went one set of 2 or 4 in a row to Hell with non Club Med skiers. Couldn't really get mad at'em as they were having fun. Once as we were taking another couple down a North Face run, showing them the place for the first time, a big Club Med group blasted past us out of the trees and down Last Steep bumps as if they didn't see us. No lives were lost so I guess it was OK. As for me I seldom get to ski with a group, it may be a personality thing.

 

[Pequenita]

Back to the Original Poster, though. The solution: Ski with more groups of women. Not that they are less talented, but if the alpha male competition thing is a problem for you and makes you push harder than you want to, then that goes away.

I've skied with plenty of alpha women.