How do you get a spouse hooked on skiing?

[Doug Briggs]

Count your blessings that even this compromise is possible. Your wife isn't your buddy -- accept and respect her choices.

QFT.

I'll add that there are probably times when you aren't so excited about what your spouse/SO wants to do and that represents the balancing side of the compromise.

I have found (despite, or perhaps reflecting, my single-ness) that it isn't necessary to be tied at the hip to your SO all the time. Independence and individuality are important, too.

 

[Jersey Skier]

Just want highlight some salient points















Can’t help but seconding





She realizes. Just being brutally honest.

Couple things on a personal note.

Many, many years after our divorce, and after I was re-married, my former wife reached out to me and asked if we might get together, just as friends, pointing out that she had taken a strong liking to skiing, and that she had gotten quite good. I still love skiing. But, it made me sad that this is the only thing that she thinks of when thinking of me. And, I mean I’m sad for myself, not her.

Second, I hope, in the selection of your alias, you mean you and your wife live in Jersey Channel Islands. I would be terrified if your wife and mine ever meet and begin sharing notes. Because, yes, I too am guilty as charged! I too need to change my outlook.

Edit:

Ok, now this is really going to be a confessional. All these years, she’s been saying she would like to have an apartment in the City; summer season rentals at the beach. A few weeks ago, she fancied a condo at the Mountain, ...and, I felt gratified. I now realize, after reading this thread, I have nothing to be gratified about, as it relates to myself and my selfishness. In fact, my feeling of gratification I now see is a false one, one that is constructed on sand. I too have to change my outlook.

The good news is, she hasn’t divorced me, yet. It’s not too late,



for either of us.

What is this? Dr. Phil? I thought it was a ski forum.

 

[Itinerant skier]

There's a lot of stuff to unpack in here...

My own partner is not a skier. She's always been awesome about hanging out in the lodge with her work or a good book and some spiked hot cocoa. Sometimes she'll go to yoga class at the spa. A couple years back, I convinced her (at age 49 mind you) to take a lesson at Bromley. She did not love it and since she made that effort, I've stopped trying to get her into it. She enjoys being in the mountains though, so we can still do ski weeks as long as I make it a point to stop in the lodge periodically to see her, which I'm certainly happy to do.

 

[karlo]

What is this? Dr. Phil? I thought it was a ski forum.

Then, this might be an example of what one can do.

https://www.pugski.com/posts/278212/

If she wants to shop, we will. If she wants to take a day off, we will. I’m intent on this being our trip.

 

[Smear]

Mrs Smear skis but she not an avid skier. She doesn't head out to go skiing alone, but skis when we go as a family and we did ski together before kids. Tomorrow we are getting up at 0600 to bring the kids (5 and 7) to a GS ski race, so that's commitment. She is more of a mountaineer than a skier and likes backcountry skiing probably more for the other stuff than for the skiing downhill part. Our best ski story is when she managed to say "you are not going to ski that chute without me". It was after a trip with a lot of people, with discussions about who could or should not go ski that chute. And no one ended up skiing there on at that trip to keep the group together. So the next weekend we headed back just the two of us.



It was challenging snow conditions with a thin breakable crust. You had to be commited and not in the backseat to get around. Lots of falling, but luckily she managed to stop every time. Now 10 years later she is laughing about it. "I did ski the thing, but I did look like a cow doing so".



Females are generally extremely competitive in my experience. Males are generally happy as long as they get out to play with their toys and doesn't bother to get upset with how they perform compared to others. If I can bring a female friend that she thought would be more fit and a better skier then her and then it turns out that she is better, then that is true happiness for her. So my best tip is to bring along female friends who are worse skiers...

She has been talking about getting new skis. I should push her on that to get them ordered. If new skis will get her go skiing alone, than I guess there is hope after all ;-) I hope we will enjoy skiing together after the kids phase is over in about 10 years or so.

 

[Scruffy]

@Jersey Skier Have you thought of finding other couples to ski with? Perhaps a ski club? I think New Jersey has a lot of ski clubs? Might be a way to find others compatible to ski with for both you and your wife. I am lucky in that my wife and I have a clique of > a dozen and a half people we ski with regularly, and at least half of them are other married couples, the rest are singles. It works out great because, although most of the women like to ski, they are primarily in it for a social thing, while the men are in it to ski first, social second, and that creates an impetus for some of the wife's that are on the fence about skiing to actually get out and enjoy it. Sometimes they'll quit early and hang out at the bar while the die-hards finish the day-- everyone wins.

 

[Bruuuce]

My two cents to what has been said...

Have you asked her what would help her enjoy it more? I mean really asked.

My wife skis, but I'm not sure I'd call her a skier. She likes it much more now than she first did. What worked? I listened and here is what I learned:
"My boots are uncomfortable" - set her up with the best bootfitter in Snowmass and now she LOVES them.
"My hands are cold" - heated gloves were the ticket
"I am often scared out there" - never, and I mean never, take her somewhere she can't handle. I now have a good read on her and will lead her down anything she hasn't skied before. We get her lessons on occasion and are looking into one of the fear camps.
"I don't care what skis I have, I just want it to be easy" - she demoed and loved her carvers. I got feedback here and bought her powder boards based on her input.

None of this may relate, but just a thought that something she hasn't told you (or you didn't hear) may be getting in the way. My joke is that I'll buy here whatever gear is needed to help her enjoy skiing. No limits...period. Worked for us. Good luck!!!

 

[Scruffy]

My joke is that I'll buy here whatever gear is needed to help her enjoy skiing. No limits...period. Worked for us. Good luck!!!

Been there, still doing it Just bought her a new pair of boots with GripWalk because she slipped and fell, on her new hip , on some icy walkway while in her old ski boots, during a recent ski trip. I got her new skis too, that she demoed ( on my insistence, because I could tell her current skis --although only two years old and not a lot of miles on them-- where just not working for her anymore). I harvested a pair of GripWalk bindings off one of my pair of skis and mounted them up for her. She is now skiing much better, and loves her GripWalk boots, she can now walk around in them without that frankenstein march and my fear that she'll slip and fall. Whatever it takes to keep them safe and in the game

 

[Yo Momma]

You say how?... Bought her a Klim Allure jacket and bibs..... Now I can't get her off the slopes even in -20 F........ Hence my absence from posting! She dropped a 10 footer the other day straight into a bumped up tree run and ripped it prettier than me!!! Impressive and I'm jealous!

After her rants about her clothes I got the Klim Keewnaw bibs. In a word........ Bulletproof. If my life depended on my clothing... I'm wearing Klim.

 

[James]

What's Klim?

 

[Yo Momma]

Klim

• Yo Momma
• Jan 26, 2019

What's Klim?

Not your granpa's snow machine suit! (NEK joke) Totally articulated high end technical outdoor activity gear for snow, motorcycle, and off road. Top of the line stitching and attn to detail. It's rare that I don't grab my Klim gear now esp given how cold it's been. I wear only one base layer down to -35F. Now they incorporate nice styling and color for the ladies... okay not as cool and Kari Traa but much more technical for the serious outdoor adventurer. Check out the Klim website for more info. Just my Klim jckt in the pic.

 

[Jersey Skier]

So my wife mentioned that one of her co-workers was heading to Utah next week to do some "back-something skiing."

This text followed today:

 

[Crank]

I got divorced back in 2011. Ex thought my skiing 10 days a year was excessive! She did ski when we were younger but stopped about 10 years before we split.

My SO, Fiancee, soulmate, Robin is more of a ski nut than I am. We ski together more than apart, but, we do go on separate ski trips & other trips as well.

I don't think you can make someone love skiing. As the saying goes - You can lead a horse to water...

 

[Jersey Skier]

I You can lead a horse to water...

Yeah, getting her to drink is not an issue.

 

[VickieH]

Your wife is proposing staying in a yurt village in Utah and doing heli and cat skiing?

Can you remind me what's wrong with her that led to this thread?

 

[Jersey Skier]

Your wife is proposing staying in a yurt village in Utah and doing heli and cat skiing?

Can you remind me what's wrong with her that led to this thread?

Oh that is simple. She really has no concept of what this would entail. This is nothing she has researched, believe me. If she clicks on the website and sees the pricing that alone will dampen any enthusiasm for the idea. Nevermind that for her a 3 star hotel is slumming it. So I'm not sure how the whole yurt thing would go. Could she even plug in her hair dryer?

 

[HardDaysNight]

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it!

 

[Fuller]

I must live a charmed life.

In Florida my wife and I spend a lot of time on the road bikes - separately. I ride like a bat outta hell with the bike club and she does a solo ride or sometimes with a friend. We both like to get a good workout but we are on a slightly different wavelength. I do all the bike cleaning and maintenance but I enjoy that part of it too. We occasionally ride together when we can do a more scenic ride. We are both pretty stoked to be healthy, fit and outdoors as much as possible and we can share our experiences afterwards.

On the mountain we are kind of in the same mode. I'm more goal oriented so I always want to improve my skiing and push the terrain envelope but we do a lot of runs together. We sometimes do our thing individually but again at a slightly different intensity. Our winters are all about skiing, I've skied 19 days in a row here (today is a weather disaster, I'm waiting for the conditions to improve). She will probably do some cooking (I specialize in eating) and I will do some ski tuning because she does like a newly waxed pair of skis. Pretty nice arrangement.

 

[Jersey Skier]

Your wife is proposing staying in a yurt village in Utah and doing heli and cat skiing?

Can you remind me what's wrong with her that led to this thread?

She asked if I checked out the website. Then asked how the yurts looked and what does it cost. When I ran through the pricing she just laughed. "For skiing?" "That's a lot more than lift tickets." "Where do you go if you don't like it after a run or two?" She's used to hanging in the bar for a while.

 

[Bill Talbot]

After reading through much of this thread I can only say that single living is looking pretty damn good