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This came out of the pants thread. I feel it deserves it’s own thread.
What exactly can you fit in your pockets, and could you ski or board that way? How ridiculous can you get?
Here’s the original post-
First the pockets. (Edit: that’s as far as I got. Things got a bit out of hand…)
The two “hip pockets”, are basically leg pockets that start at the hip. One has an interior smaller “pocket” supposedly for a beacon. I tested it with two beacons (though not while wearing, but I don’t see an issue with that.
The Mammut Barryvox S - fits, but just. The top actually sticks up a little. Mostly because of it’s mildly large shape. But it’ll zip closed inside no problem.
Ortovox S3+ (older model) - slides right in, all the way.
Now, would you want to keep them in there? That’s beyond my level. There is a fabric clip to sewn in for the beacon’s lead. However, the fabric in there is somewhat light stretchy stuff. If the outer shell holds in the fracas of an avalanche, it’ll be fine, but otherwise, doubtful. But this issue wouldn’t be limited to just these pants.
These two hip pockets were apparently designed after all those deep mine shafts that litter the Aspen mountains. (Strafe is an Aspen brand) They don’t go down to the knee, but a few inches above.
How big are they? Fairly cavernous. I got three 1/2 liter water bottles in there. You’re probably better off with two than just one because it’ll rotate. I actually put the pants on to test this, because I couldn’t believe it. Yes, they fit. I had three in one and two in the other. (Poland Spring) Could I ski like that? Probably. Moguls? As long as you don’t have a really deep absorption, though the fabric does stretch.
I’d feel pretty good about having to ski with two bottles in each pocket. It’s not exactly desireable, but prob not that bad if you had to take one for the team.
So… if you really had to, you could put six 1/2 liter Poland Spring water bottles, and make it downhill somewhere. That’s 3000gms/3kgs/6.6lbs of water in your pants pockets! Chrissie Hynde might even write a song about it.
Just to push the ridiculous, I decided to go even further with this. Could I fit a half gallon of milk in that pocket?? While wearing the pants. I didn’t have an empty milk container, but I had an empty apple cider one. 1/2gal/2qts/64ozs:1.89liters. Four pounds.
You know those Boa Constrictors that swallow baby deer in Florida? That’s these pockets. Lest you think I’m just being hyperbolic, I documented it:
The test container.
Open up! You think no way, just like the deer starting to go in the boa.
All in and zipped up!
Could I ski like that? Depends, how flat is the trail? Definitely green terrain, as long as there’s not much knee bend.
Will the half gallon fit with the avy beacon in there? Can the boa swallow the deer and a dog at the same time?? There’s limits. However, these pockets outdo the boa in that you could put the milk in the left pocket, and the beacon in the right. (I did not test this, but assume the pockets are equal size)
Ok, ok, you say I don’t need milk, I need eggs! Noooo…
Well, why not. Let’s see if a carton of eggs will fit in!
The test subject. Note: no eggs were harmed in this experiment. I took them out. Though I may fry a couple up to have with a homemade bagel.
Starting to go in…will it make it??
Yep, just makes it.
Could I ski like this? Oof. You cant bend the leg much I do feel I could develop some sort of non bended knee telemark turn with a pretty straight right leg and do it. You can pull the leg back, if straight.
Again, spend the extra money at the mid mountain market, and buy two half dozen cartons. Put one in each pocket, that’s likely much easier.
Now, off to apply for a grant to continue this research, because it’s so time consuming. Though I should just get on youtube and make the big bucks.
Note: if you do attempt these experiments, be careful starting the zipper when closing. The start is at odd angles, but will work just fine if you’re careful. It’s a nice zipper…no one told it a carton of eggs or a half gallon container would be going in the pocket.
Note 2: Due to the massive interest in testing other items, I can no longer accept mail ins. I will gladly accept gold bricks, but don’t plan on getting it back, nor will you receive a cash equivalent. I can offer a certificate of appreciation though. (Not valid for tax purposes).
I am also accepting stacks of $20-$100 bills. Perhaps $10’s. No $5’s or $1’s… Well maybe, but that’ll cost extra, and the same rules apply, no returns/no receipts.
What exactly can you fit in your pockets, and could you ski or board that way? How ridiculous can you get?
Here’s the original post-
Update on the Strafe Capitol Pant since I actually went skiing in them.
First the pockets. (Edit: that’s as far as I got. Things got a bit out of hand…)
The two “hip pockets”, are basically leg pockets that start at the hip. One has an interior smaller “pocket” supposedly for a beacon. I tested it with two beacons (though not while wearing, but I don’t see an issue with that.
The Mammut Barryvox S - fits, but just. The top actually sticks up a little. Mostly because of it’s mildly large shape. But it’ll zip closed inside no problem.
Ortovox S3+ (older model) - slides right in, all the way.
Now, would you want to keep them in there? That’s beyond my level. There is a fabric clip to sewn in for the beacon’s lead. However, the fabric in there is somewhat light stretchy stuff. If the outer shell holds in the fracas of an avalanche, it’ll be fine, but otherwise, doubtful. But this issue wouldn’t be limited to just these pants.
These two hip pockets were apparently designed after all those deep mine shafts that litter the Aspen mountains. (Strafe is an Aspen brand) They don’t go down to the knee, but a few inches above.
How big are they? Fairly cavernous. I got three 1/2 liter water bottles in there. You’re probably better off with two than just one because it’ll rotate. I actually put the pants on to test this, because I couldn’t believe it. Yes, they fit. I had three in one and two in the other. (Poland Spring) Could I ski like that? Probably. Moguls? As long as you don’t have a really deep absorption, though the fabric does stretch.
I’d feel pretty good about having to ski with two bottles in each pocket. It’s not exactly desireable, but prob not that bad if you had to take one for the team.
So… if you really had to, you could put six 1/2 liter Poland Spring water bottles, and make it downhill somewhere. That’s 3000gms/3kgs/6.6lbs of water in your pants pockets! Chrissie Hynde might even write a song about it.
Just to push the ridiculous, I decided to go even further with this. Could I fit a half gallon of milk in that pocket?? While wearing the pants. I didn’t have an empty milk container, but I had an empty apple cider one. 1/2gal/2qts/64ozs:1.89liters. Four pounds.
You know those Boa Constrictors that swallow baby deer in Florida? That’s these pockets. Lest you think I’m just being hyperbolic, I documented it:
The test container.
Open up! You think no way, just like the deer starting to go in the boa.
All in and zipped up!
Could I ski like that? Depends, how flat is the trail? Definitely green terrain, as long as there’s not much knee bend.
Will the half gallon fit with the avy beacon in there? Can the boa swallow the deer and a dog at the same time?? There’s limits. However, these pockets outdo the boa in that you could put the milk in the left pocket, and the beacon in the right. (I did not test this, but assume the pockets are equal size)
Ok, ok, you say I don’t need milk, I need eggs! Noooo…
Well, why not. Let’s see if a carton of eggs will fit in!
The test subject. Note: no eggs were harmed in this experiment. I took them out. Though I may fry a couple up to have with a homemade bagel.
Starting to go in…will it make it??
Yep, just makes it.
Could I ski like this? Oof. You cant bend the leg much I do feel I could develop some sort of non bended knee telemark turn with a pretty straight right leg and do it. You can pull the leg back, if straight.
Again, spend the extra money at the mid mountain market, and buy two half dozen cartons. Put one in each pocket, that’s likely much easier.
Now, off to apply for a grant to continue this research, because it’s so time consuming. Though I should just get on youtube and make the big bucks.
Note: if you do attempt these experiments, be careful starting the zipper when closing. The start is at odd angles, but will work just fine if you’re careful. It’s a nice zipper…no one told it a carton of eggs or a half gallon container would be going in the pocket.
Note 2: Due to the massive interest in testing other items, I can no longer accept mail ins. I will gladly accept gold bricks, but don’t plan on getting it back, nor will you receive a cash equivalent. I can offer a certificate of appreciation though. (Not valid for tax purposes).
I am also accepting stacks of $20-$100 bills. Perhaps $10’s. No $5’s or $1’s… Well maybe, but that’ll cost extra, and the same rules apply, no returns/no receipts.
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