We all have them. Some involve regrets, some involve a sense of "I can't believe we got away with that"
In no way do I mean to trivialize stupid shit, or celebrate stuff that was, and is, for good reason very illegal - just to be clear. I laugh at myself a lot, so laughing at stuff I might have done when I was drunk is no stretch.
This is likely one of my top ten:
I swear to God this is a completely true story. No liberties taken, no edits, no inflation.
So I was in Edmonton with my cousin. A friend had passed away suddenly and I was there to offer support, as well as someone to get drunk with, naturally.
We spent an evening remembering our friend, laughing at the stuff he did, the stuff he might not remember doing, writing a eulogy and generally getting trashed.
I smoked at the time, and so while having a cigarette, we walked around my cousin's townhouse complex - it was several blocks in size. As we rounded a corner, we saw what looked like flames coming from the back of a Jeep. We ran up and saw that, indeed, the Jeep was on fire. Somehow, the back portion of the soft top (think by the spare tire) had been lit up.
My cousin got on the horn to 911 immediately and I tried, unsuccessfully, to slap it out - burning my hand in the process (did I mention that we were drunk?) Anyway, it dawned on me that I had in my possession about six beer. So I shook one up, popped the top, and aimed at the flames. The fire started to die down a bit. I immediately shook up and dispensed the rest of the cans I had on the fire and eventually got it to the point that my t shirt did the rest of the business (did I mention it was November? And we were drunk...)
Shortly after this, the cops and fire trucks showed up and started questioning me immediately as I looked like one of those idiots from COPS tv shows, all shirtless and drunk, built like a Chihuahua, all ribs. My cousin did the talking, fast, and soon had the cops and firefighters staring at me unbelieving.
"Yeah, Sergeant, there's a bunch of beer cans around the Jeep" one cop said.
"See! I told you" Bellowed my (as drunk as I was) cousin.
"Genius" one of the firefighters quipped.
"He's a firefighter, too!" my cousin proclaimed. OK, I was/am.
"I recall my foam theory" I replied, "but now I'm out of beer"
"I think you've had enough already", one of the cops replied.
Soon after, the owner was roused and was giving his particulars to the police. I heard them, laughingly, tell him how the fire was stopped with such little damage. I also heard them state that my only complaint was that I had no more beer.
That man went into his townhouse and returned with six beer to replace mine. Not my brand, but beggars can't be choosers.
I've often wondered how this incident report was written up.
In no way do I mean to trivialize stupid shit, or celebrate stuff that was, and is, for good reason very illegal - just to be clear. I laugh at myself a lot, so laughing at stuff I might have done when I was drunk is no stretch.
This is likely one of my top ten:
I swear to God this is a completely true story. No liberties taken, no edits, no inflation.
So I was in Edmonton with my cousin. A friend had passed away suddenly and I was there to offer support, as well as someone to get drunk with, naturally.
We spent an evening remembering our friend, laughing at the stuff he did, the stuff he might not remember doing, writing a eulogy and generally getting trashed.
I smoked at the time, and so while having a cigarette, we walked around my cousin's townhouse complex - it was several blocks in size. As we rounded a corner, we saw what looked like flames coming from the back of a Jeep. We ran up and saw that, indeed, the Jeep was on fire. Somehow, the back portion of the soft top (think by the spare tire) had been lit up.
My cousin got on the horn to 911 immediately and I tried, unsuccessfully, to slap it out - burning my hand in the process (did I mention that we were drunk?) Anyway, it dawned on me that I had in my possession about six beer. So I shook one up, popped the top, and aimed at the flames. The fire started to die down a bit. I immediately shook up and dispensed the rest of the cans I had on the fire and eventually got it to the point that my t shirt did the rest of the business (did I mention it was November? And we were drunk...)
Shortly after this, the cops and fire trucks showed up and started questioning me immediately as I looked like one of those idiots from COPS tv shows, all shirtless and drunk, built like a Chihuahua, all ribs. My cousin did the talking, fast, and soon had the cops and firefighters staring at me unbelieving.
"Yeah, Sergeant, there's a bunch of beer cans around the Jeep" one cop said.
"See! I told you" Bellowed my (as drunk as I was) cousin.
"Genius" one of the firefighters quipped.
"He's a firefighter, too!" my cousin proclaimed. OK, I was/am.
"I recall my foam theory" I replied, "but now I'm out of beer"
"I think you've had enough already", one of the cops replied.
Soon after, the owner was roused and was giving his particulars to the police. I heard them, laughingly, tell him how the fire was stopped with such little damage. I also heard them state that my only complaint was that I had no more beer.
That man went into his townhouse and returned with six beer to replace mine. Not my brand, but beggars can't be choosers.
I've often wondered how this incident report was written up.
