Top 5 trees I like because they annoy the living daylights out of people next door:
1. White mulberry by the side fence - yes your grassless and treeless 'outdoor' living space is going to look like the geese squitted on it, from late April through mid June. So sorry, truly, yes I am.
2. Black mulberry by the back fence - yes your 'Look at me I'm Solar' panels and your sign proclaiming you're solar will have both crow and starling squit on them. That's just terrible, you know.
3. Giant crabapple by the back fence - Let's see how your three-times-a-week gasoline leaf blower noise crew deals with the residue from THAT. Oh yes, the grass blades in your front postage stamp all point the same way, yes, very nice. For us, that's totally worth having a dirt bike meet every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday morning. For sure.
4. County-planted Bradford pear right at the electric pole - hey you built out your 2mill+ house so no one can put in a garage because of fire engine access rules but you were too cheap to put in underground FIOS? Oh I'm SO sorry you lose Internet every time the wind kicks up. I know, it's such a shame it's not the power company's job to trim their pears away from your Internet.
5. Willow tree in the guy next door's driveway nook. Oh really? You couldn't get any trees to survive because your entire front yard is 2 inches of clay fill on top of crushed rock? And then your fly-by-night landscaper didn't bother to check where your water and sewer pipes run? Oh I'm so terribly sorry you re-dug those pipes three times!