Dear young mother at the McDonald's in Perry, GA just off I-75,
Let's start out on a positive note with our one area of agreement - waiting for fries absolutely sucks. It sucks for me, it sucks for you, it sucks for your little boy, and it sucks for all the other people who, like us, were clustered around the counter waiting for hot, golden, delicious, McDonald's french fries.
Actually, we have another broad area of agreement over which we can build upon our common human bond - little kids can suck too. And I should know. I have 3, and, according to my lovely wife, all of them are mine. Though mine made it through the toddler stage several years ago, I still wistfully remember the many occasions that I, while low on sleep and out of patience, pondered backhanding them, or giving them a good shake, or saying something really mean to them. Hell, I even imagined building velcro wall on wheels sticking them on it so they wouldn't wander, and thusly could I wait for my french fries in relative peace. . . you get the picture, I know.
And perhaps here is where we must diverge, because I didn't backhand, shake, or personally insult my mostly non-verbal 2 year old while waiting for fries at McDonald's, or anywhere. And please, let's not re-plow the Adrian Peterson discussion from yesteryear. You're the mom and, so long as it's OK with the state, you can do what you want for discipline I suppose. I'm pretty confident backhanding and shaking aren't on the approved list though. Calling the kid a "damn idiot" isn't illegal, but it's not very effective, and tends to say more about you than the kid if you get my meaning.
I was going to speak up about your behavior when that bought of uncontrollable laughter overcame me and really pissed you off. In your rage, you must have forgotten that you called your kid a son of a bitch. That's why I said "I totally agree" and that's also why everyone else started laughing too. I know you wanted to hit me, and I sort of wish you had because it would make the story better. Instead, you tried to make your point by huffily spinning around and snatching the bag of fries being held out to you by the chuckling cashier, thus ripping the bag, spilling the fresh fries, and making your poor kid wail in anguish. But for your boy's dejection, I'd call that the kind of instant karma that makes me very, very happy.
I know you think you won when you called me a F-ing asshole before storming off without any fries. You might be right in your assessment of me, but frankly, I've been called a lot worse by much better people.
P.S. - Hang in there kid.