Post Your Funnies, Any Funnies. I need to laugh!

[Dwight]

 

[Novaloafah]

Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time.
Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven,
sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “older Person
Friendly” policies.

One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. “Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work
ethic, you do a bang-up job, but you’re being late so often is quite bothersome.” “Yes, I know
boss, and I am working on it.” “Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear.

It’s odd though your coming in late. I know you’re retired from the Armed Forces. What did they
say if you came in late there?”

Good Morning Admiral, can we get you your coffee?

 

[Tricia]

 

[oldschoolskier]

Play nice, almost sounds like a in house dig

 

[Uncle-A]

Is the last one Phil?

 

[Tricia]

Is the last one Phil?

Would you believe...me?

 

[Uncle-A]

Would you believe...me?

You would never tell a story, would you?

 

[graham418]

I don't care if this is PC or not... too funny

 

[Jilly]

I think something got lost in translation. Chinese and French!!

 

[Uncle-A]

 

[geepers]

I was attending a lecture by a neuropsychologist once (I wasn't really, this is a joke, and I know it hasn't started particularly promisingly, but bear with me), the purpose of which was to tease out any causal relationship as may exist between frequency of intercourse and happiness. The speaker began by asking for a show of hands by those who had sex three times a week or more. A number of the audience raised their hands, and it was noted that outwardly, they appeared a cheerful, happy lot.

The speaker repeated the question, with reducing frequency each time, and sure enough, those who had the least sex appeared to be the most morose. To illustrate the point, she asked if anybody would be brave enough to volunteer whether they had sex, on average, perhaps once a year. At that point, a middle aged guy at the back of the room stood up, waved his arms about and with a maniacal grin on his face loudly proclaimed 'Me! Me! I do! Me!'

Now, at this point the neuropsych was clearly nonplussed. Addressing the inexplicably enthusiastic virtual monk, she asked why he appeared so delighted to be having sex so sporadically that most others would regard it as a tragedy.

'Because', enthused the man, 'It's tonight!'

 

[Dave Petersen]

 

[David Chaus]

 

[MountainMonster]

 

[LiquidFeet]

 

[MountainMonster]

Lol'd

 

[Uncle-A]

View attachment 47341
Lol'd

Because you started the MMC post how about this one. I am not sure all will get it.

 

[neonorchid]

Q: Why isn't Mickey seeing Minnie?






A: Because she's Fµç#ing Goofy!

 

[Cheizz]

Rude? Or just hounest? Anyway, welcome to my once hometown Amsterdam

 

[Monique]

Rude? Or just hounest? Anyway, welcome to my once hometown Amsterdam
View attachment 47377

That's pretty shitty.