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Andy Mink

Everyone loves spring skiing but not in January
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Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says,
'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck. And although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. But one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?' The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.
 

Doug Briggs

"Douche Bag Local"
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Guy goes into a deli orders a Turkey sandwich.

Waiter comes out and says "I'm sorry sir we don't have any Turkey today."

Guy says "OK, then I'll have a chicken sandwich."

Waiter says "If we had chicken, you'd have turkey."
I worked at a restaurant, The Eating House at Cranmore, during the summers as a kid. I was a dishwasher, but got roped into the menial tasks in the kitchen as well. We had chicken salad on the menu, but for efficiency our chicken salad was made from turkey. I was a pro turkey picker. We also offered egg salad. Peeling multiple flats of eggs made me a master egg peeler, too.

And to add a little humor to the post...

While working in the dishwasher room we had to dump the food from plates before loading them into the machine. One night my 'colleague' came across a fairly intact lobster body while scraping the plates. In a juvenile example of 'hold my beer', he said watch this. He tossed the lobster into the industrial exhaust fan on the wall over the dishwasher in a classic example of 'when the sh!t hits the fan'.

Later that night the owner and chef came into the dishwasher room. He was livid. My colleague hadn't considered what was under the fan outside. It was the boss' truck.

Ooops.

One last vignette. Don't ever let your young employees into the walk-in refrigerator when there are cases of canned whipped cream lying around.

Can you say 'whippet'?
 

oldschoolskier

Making fresh tracks
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The top picture is of a dachshund, and as an ex-dachshund owner, I can confirm that this is absolutely standard dachshund behavior. Absolutely zero concept of their true size, and prepared to take almost anything on (with the exception in the case of both dachshunds I've owned, devils incarnate a/k/a CATS)
I’ve had a total of 5 (one currently and a Jack Russell) and will note the following.

“Dachs”hund means Badger Dog. Yes they where breed to chase badgers out of the hole. Explains the attitude.

They are one family dogs everything else is an intruder.

They know their size and how close you can get, look away they get you.

Jacks are a handfull but contrary to common belief are very trainable.

Doxies well they train sometimes to your will, but try for the you to theirs.

The both together are trouble with all capitals.
 

RobSN

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Prescott Valley, AZ
^^^ Mostly agree @oldschoolskier except on them knowing their size. Demonstrated by our last male endeavoring to mount a Great Dane (no kidding). Didn't get far, but faint heart ne'er won a fair lady ogsmileogsmileogsmile. My love of them is that (and for goodness sake don't tell them as it might hurt their feelings) I challenge anyone to truly contemplate a dachshund for more than a moment, and how utterly ridiculous they look, without breaking into a smile.
 

Andy Mink

Everyone loves spring skiing but not in January
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Can you say 'whippet'?
When I worked for the USFS many years ago there was a guy who had worked on a commercial fishing boat out of AK or WA or somewhere. The cook had to lock up the whipped cream after finding numerous empty ones. Boring boat ride.
 

oldschoolskier

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^^^ Mostly agree @oldschoolskier except on them knowing their size. Demonstrated by our last male endeavoring to mount a Great Dane (no kidding). Didn't get far, but faint heart ne'er won a fair lady ogsmileogsmileogsmile. My love of them is that (and for goodness sake don't tell them as it might hurt their feelings) I challenge anyone to truly contemplate a dachshund for more than a moment, and how utterly ridiculous they look, without breaking into a smile.
Great Dane vs Badger, monies on the Badger....Dachshund mentality, if I can get the Badger, why not the the Great Dane. :doh: ogwink
 

skibum4ever

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Screenshot_20200925-202516_1601090790764.jpg
 

Monique

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I just peeled another four pound block of shrimp left over from the restaurant. We have had two meals of shrimp and grits, two of shrimp tacos, and will be finishing it up with s&g for lunch today. Seafood is rough because you really need to eat it right away. I'm looking forward to the day when we have worked through the last few blocks and can buy/eat regular amounts of shrimp. At least you can freeze most one pot meals into multiple containers!


We make lots of hugs batches. Ground beef stroganoff is a favorite. No problem having that for meal after meal. But I tried a chicken tomatillo stew recipe; I liked it, but my partner sure didn't. Oy. That's a lot for one person to plow through.
 

Andy Mink

Everyone loves spring skiing but not in January
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I just peeled another four pound block of shrimp left over from the restaurant. We have had two meals of shrimp and grits, two of shrimp tacos, and will be finishing it up with s&g for lunch today. Seafood is rough because you really need to eat it right away. I'm looking forward to the day when we have worked through the last few blocks and can buy/eat regular amounts of shrimp. At least you can freeze most one pot meals into multiple containers!


We make lots of hugs batches. Ground beef stroganoff is a favorite. No problem having that for meal after meal. But I tried a chicken tomatillo stew recipe; I liked it, but my partner sure didn't. Oy. That's a lot for one person to plow through.
Chili. Mmmmmm...
 

skibob

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Santa Rosa Fire Belt
I just peeled another four pound block of shrimp left over from the restaurant. We have had two meals of shrimp and grits, two of shrimp tacos, and will be finishing it up with s&g for lunch today. Seafood is rough because you really need to eat it right away. I'm looking forward to the day when we have worked through the last few blocks and can buy/eat regular amounts of shrimp. At least you can freeze most one pot meals into multiple containers!


We make lots of hugs batches. Ground beef stroganoff is a favorite. No problem having that for meal after meal. But I tried a chicken tomatillo stew recipe; I liked it, but my partner sure didn't. Oy. That's a lot for one person to plow through.
 

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