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AmyPJ

AmyPJ

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These are funny, this one perhaps my fav!
* Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
* Witness: “No.”
* Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
* Witness: “No.”
* Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
* Witness: “No.”
* Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
* Witness: “No.”
* Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
* Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
* Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
* Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”

Read more: http://lawvibe.com/the-stupidest-things-lawyers-and-witnesses-say-in-a-court-of-law/#ixzz4IueclBoG
 

Tricia

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If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will.
You could always tell when Tim Conway had the rest of the team in stitches. They couldn't speak.
Just when they get their composure, he starts in again.
 

skibob

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Dave Petersen

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Dave Petersen

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image.jpeg

image.jpeg
 
Thread Starter
TS
AmyPJ

AmyPJ

Skiing the powder
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If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will.
You could always tell when Tim Conway had the rest of the team in stitches. They couldn't speak.
Just when they get their composure, he starts in again.
Oh yes, I laughed! This stuff is pure comedic genius. So little said, yet SO funny.
 

JeffB

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A lawyer is sitting in his parked BMW when a tow truck crashes into the car. The crash takes car door clean off and the driver speeds away. The lawyer immediately signals a cop and begins ranting about how much the damage to his car is going to cost. The cop replies, "You lawyers are so materialistic. All you care about is money." The lawyer says, "How DARE you call me materialistic." The cop replies, "Well, you've been so concerned about your car that you didn't notice that your arm is missing." The lawyer screams, "FUCK! My Rolex!
 

Dave Petersen

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