Post Your Funnies, Any Funnies. I need to laugh!

Discussion in 'Chez Ziggy' started by AmyPJ, Aug 29, 2016.

  1. slowrider

    slowrider Out on the slopes Skier

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    66464102_629710954180426_8161032414722785280_.jpeg
     
    Pat AKA mustski, Jacob, Jerez and 4 others like this.
  2. geepers

    geepers Out on the slopes Skier

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    [​IMG]
     
  3. oldschoolskier

    oldschoolskier Out on the slopes Skier

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    Aah, that explains the pollination issues, the wrong bees are in the fields.
     
    John Webb likes this.
  4. John Webb

    John Webb mdskier Skier

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  5. graham418

    graham418 Out on the slopes Skier

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  6. CalG

    CalG Out on the slopes Skier

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    Most "front seats" would take an additional 200# of fuel if they could leave the NFO on deck.
     
  7. John Webb

    John Webb mdskier Skier

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    An office-mate, a civilian, got a ride off the carrier in one of these fighters.
    For amusement the jet jockey pulled a few stunts. Poor guy turned white, thought
    he was going to die, & shit in his pants -I kid you not !
     
    Pat AKA mustski and VickiK like this.
  8. Andy Mink

    Andy Mink I am a half fast skier. Moderator Pugski Ski Tester

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    image.jpeg
     
  9. VickiK

    VickiK Getting off the lift Skier

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  10. Bad Bob

    Bad Bob old n' slow Skier

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    61529373_1327599734055932_3083352271564570624_n.jpg
     
  11. Monique

    Monique bounceswoosh Skier

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    Yikes! A roofer soon to be seeing an oncologist! Okay, okay, it's a funny joke - but the roofers (and all people who work outdoors) around here wear hats, something to cover their necks, and full sleeve shirts.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2019
  12. Jenny

    Jenny Out on the slopes Skier

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    My husband was wondering recently about pro golfers and whether they wear their hats when they go out to eat or just let the white dome show . . . Can't remember who it was he was looking at at the time, but I've seen him on TV and it's quite startling.
     
  13. John Webb

    John Webb mdskier Skier

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    LiquidFeet, T-Square and Jerez like this.
  14. geepers

    geepers Out on the slopes Skier

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    A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

    A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

    An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

    Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

    A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

    Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

    A question mark walks into a bar?

    A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

    Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

    A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

    A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

    Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

    A synonym strolls into a tavern.

    At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

    A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

    Falling slowly, slowly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

    A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

    An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

    The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

    A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

    The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

    A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

    An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

    A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

    A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

    A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
     
    Seldomski, Jerez, LiquidFeet and 8 others like this.
  15. Zrxman01

    Zrxman01 Getting off the lift Skier

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  16. Zrxman01

    Zrxman01 Getting off the lift Skier

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  17. dbostedo

    dbostedo Asst. Gathermeister-- Jackson Hole 2020 Moderator

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    ^^^
    What's wrong with wanting nice clean bottles?
     
  18. slowrider

    slowrider Out on the slopes Skier

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    61621590_2676512229086855_3100518280889106432.jpeg
     
  19. Andy Mink

    Andy Mink I am a half fast skier. Moderator Pugski Ski Tester

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    20190711_211754.jpg
     
    VickieH, dbostedo, skibob and 2 others like this.
  20. Pat AKA mustski

    Pat AKA mustski Making fresh tracks Skier

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