They didn't blink an eye at the thought of a woman being strong because they'd served military with strong women.
Counter to what *I* would expect and stereotype - in my experience, this is common with younger men with a military background. And of course, as the years go on, "younger" will no longer apply.
But anyway, back to the original topic - apologies if this is rehash; I just read the first page.
I can empathize..sometimes people drag me out mountain biking and they...just...suck... And I have a very hard time hanging around. I dunno..I'm riding with purpose..it's not leisure time..to me anyway. I don't even know if I could instruct...just can't imagine..patience I suppose.
I am a slow rider. If there's talk of riding together, I simply tell people that I am very slow, and they are welcome to choose otherwise. Then they inevitably say that they are slow, and I say, no, really. I will be slower than you. If they still want to ride, cool. I'm working on being okay with it and saying "Thank you" instead of "Sorry." After the first ride, if you want to ride with me, it's on you. Some amount of responsibility must rest with the slower / less skilled person.
Just don't bail on me half way through the ride, and especially don't bail on me without saying something.
That being said, I've been the weaker skier when I was still lacking confidence to ski down bumps etc, and it would have sucked to be "abandoned" by friends. It still sucks now, but at least I have the comfort level to go ski on my own. And yeah, it has happened, and I was ghosted, which was especially sucky.
But
@Brock Tice also said sometimes he *wants* to ski with people who are slower skiers. That is tough. People have mentioned working on technical skiing, but that only works if you're interested in skiing the same terrain. People have mentioned taking a few runs on your own - I think this is viable, and it "should" be okay with the weaker skier if they are an adult and have solid emotional intelligence. Don't be a dick about it, but also, you're not responsible for other people's feelings.
Easier said than done.
Ultimately, I think the answer is simple but difficult - you have to make peace with your decision and go with it. Think of it as a COMPLETELY different activity. There's skiing, and there's being social on skis. It's a mental shift, like going into the backcountry. You know that backcountry skiing is going to have less vertical and must be more carefully considered, and for many of us will be on mellower terrain. But that's what you sign up for, and there are different reasons to go.
I think if I were being paid instead of paying to be there it would be different.
Yes, but - I have noticed that my ski instructor friends are really genuinely just happy to ski with their friends, no matter the level and terrain. I think that ski instructors are just a special breed of people. If they weren't enthusiastic about skiing of ALL kinds, they couldn't be instructors. Or they'd be miserable instructors ... in both senses of the word.
If you stop and wait more often, each wait will be shorter.
Flip side: When I was the slowest in a lesson group, my instructor told me that I should go first. He pointed out that while they'll still overtake me, they won't be waiting nearly as long. It's hard for the weakest skier to go first, but it does help with waiting, and it also gives the more experienced skier the opportunity to play "sweep" for a yard sale.
Maybe suggest that the other person go first, and you'll video them? Two birds, one stone - you'll have something to do
