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Instructor might quit because he still sucks at skiing.

Monique

bounceswoosh
Skier
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
10,561
Location
Colorado
Dude, don’t quit. You are not alone. There is help ...


The 12 Steps of Advanced Intermediate Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over momentum - that the direction of our CoM had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a mentor greater than ourselves could restore us beyond our stubborn plateau.

3. Made a decision to turn our CoM and our BoS over to the care of Gravity as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of all our seperation motor patterns.

5. Admitted to Gravity, to ourselves and to another human skier the exact nature of our faulty movements.

6. Were entirely ready to have an L3 remove all these defects of our technique.

7. Humbly asked Gravity to remove our shortcomings, asymmetry, backseat riding and weight on the inside.

8. Made a list of all skiers we had given bad advice, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such skiers wherever possible, except when to do so would incite them to violence.

10. Continued to take personal motor pattern inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through speed and its momentum to improve our conscious contact with Gravity as we understood it, praying only for knowledge of its will for us and the power to shred.

12. Having had a proprioceptive awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other skiers and to practice these principles in all our Gravity based affairs.


:roflmao:

Excellent work.
 

Mike King

AKA Habacomike
Instructor
Joined
Nov 13, 2015
Posts
3,383
Location
Louisville CO/Aspen Snowmass
Dude, don’t quit. You are not alone. There is help ...


The 12 Steps of Advanced Intermediate Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over momentum - that the direction of our CoM had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a mentor greater than ourselves could restore us beyond our stubborn plateau.

3. Made a decision to turn our CoM and our BoS over to the care of Gravity as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of all our seperation motor patterns.

5. Admitted to Gravity, to ourselves and to another human skier the exact nature of our faulty movements.

6. Were entirely ready to have an L3 remove all these defects of our technique.

7. Humbly asked Gravity to remove our shortcomings, asymmetry, backseat riding and weight on the inside.

8. Made a list of all skiers we had given bad advice, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such skiers wherever possible, except when to do so would incite them to violence.

10. Continued to take personal motor pattern inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through speed and its momentum to improve our conscious contact with Gravity as we understood it, praying only for knowledge of its will for us and the power to shred.

12. Having had a proprioceptive awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other skiers and to practice these principles in all our Gravity based affairs.
This is fantastic!
 

Kneale Brownson

Making fresh tracks forever on the other side
Instructor
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
1,863
Doby Man's list sounds a lot like my experience that resulted in multiple associate certified (today's L2) exams before taking one to get certified (today's L3).
 

Doby Man

Out on the slopes
Skier
Joined
Aug 22, 2017
Posts
406
Location
Mostly New England
Hey man, we all know how it is ... Have you ever been pulled over by the technique police while skiing and read your rights? “You have the right to remain quiet. Anything you move can and will be used against you in a court of the law of physics. You have the right to a ski instructor. If you cannot afford a ski instructor, you will be confined to the protective custody of the magic carpet. (AKA The Ski Dept. of Corrections)” Well, if you have, I know where you are coming from. We have weekly AIA meetings in the basement of our local ski shop.
 

Monique

bounceswoosh
Skier
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
10,561
Location
Colorado
Hey man, we all know how it is ... Have you ever been pulled over by the technique police while skiing and read your rights? “You have the right to remain quiet. Anything you move can and will be used against you in a court of the law of physics. You have the right to a ski instructor. If you cannot afford a ski instructor, you will be confined to the protective custody of the magic carpet. (AKA The Ski Dept. of Corrections)” Well, if you have, I know where you are coming from. We have weekly AIA meetings in the basement of our local ski shop.

Man, I WISH they were confined to the magic carpet.
 

Doby Man

Out on the slopes
Skier
Joined
Aug 22, 2017
Posts
406
Location
Mostly New England
Awe … cumahn! No takers? I promise the meetings are completely anonymous. You can’t get help until you admit a need. I attend TA meetings (Technique Anonymous for those endlessly discussing technique) and, though I realize that my post on the other thread may not indicate that I’m doing so well with sobriety (one more 24 hour sobriety chip and my TV will be level), at least I’m going to meetings (granted per order of the ski probation dept.). I’m the guy who makes the coffee (and drinks it all).

… and, as it turns out, the name of your new corrections officer on the magic carpet is Jimmy, a longtime member of AIA and … the most experienced magic carpet instructor in the industry!

For prospective members, a sample of AIA meeting dialogue:

Jimmy:
“Hello everybody, my name is Jimmy and I am an advanced intermediate.”

Group:
“Hi Jimmy!”

Jimmy:
“Hi. I am not doing so well. My edges are dull, my bases are dry, my boots hurt and my goggles are constantly foggy. Recently, I got caught stealing tips while following closely behind a clinic I was too broke to pay for and have since been banished to teaching on the magic carpet by my Ski School Director. My kids have now far surpassed my ability and they no longer wish to be seen with me on the slope. I think my technically disgruntled wife is getting “instruction” from an L3 behind my back.

I have been “cruising” with other advanced intermediates, passing around clever sounding tips and constantly getting high on “aha” moments that, in the end are fleeting, proving to be a smoke and mirror show cocktail of unbridled enthusiasm mixed with inferior stacking and dampened coordination. I actually had a major slip in the lift line the other day - at the very one place that nobody is supposed to be able to tell that I am not a sober expert! That snazzy helmet and goggle combo (literally gape-less) looked cooler in the ski shop mirror than during my lift line face plant. And, here I thought “shrinkage” only happened in the swimming pool. Nope! It happens in snow too. Always jumping around in desperation from quick fix tip to quick fix tip, never really getting anywhere at all and relinquishing a fundamental motor pattern recovery for every new tip I fondle with. Damn it!

I keep spending my last dollar on the next ski that is going to make all my problems go away ... but, because I never find the strength to work on honest fitness and mature coordination, that new ski always ends up kicking my ass and, right when that new Amex bill comes swooping in on me from behind. Regardless, I’m always jonesing for more product and looking for new hookups on CraigsList. Every morning I say to myself that this will be the first day I no longer submit to my dependence on compensatory movements. However, I eventually end up right back where I was, tweaking on poorly timed knee jerk neurological responses that have been haunting me since childhood.

I should have never gone off alone skiing with my technical deadbeat weird uncle Joe at such a young, vulnerable and adaptively impressionable time of life. Sometimes that makes me feel like damaged goods on a pair of sticks. I have recently failed to complete the program at the last two clinics I attended and I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t feel like I’ll ever get off that magic carpet high, but, every time I try to get off that sh*t, I pretty much slide right to the bottom. Still though, why do I struggle so much? Well, I’m a skier and everybody here knows that I, we, will never have a choice but to ski … "

Group member: “Jimmy, just remember: It’s one slay at a time and KISS (keep it skiing stupid)."

Group: “Keep coming Jimmy!!!”

- Right now the AIA group is just Jimmy and me and, honestly, Jimmy may just be a figment of my imagination. Though, I have yet to confirm that affirmatively (broken kaleidoscope). Maybe “I” am Jimmy but … then, who the frick is Dobyman? Awe Jesus ….
 

Mike King

AKA Habacomike
Instructor
Joined
Nov 13, 2015
Posts
3,383
Location
Louisville CO/Aspen Snowmass
Awe … cumahn! No takers? I promise the meetings are completely anonymous. You can’t get help until you admit a need. I attend TA meetings (Technique Anonymous for those endlessly discussing technique) and, though I realize that my post on the other thread may not indicate that I’m doing so well with sobriety (one more 24 hour sobriety chip and my TV will be level), at least I’m going to meetings (granted per order of the ski probation dept.). I’m the guy who makes the coffee (and drinks it all).

… and, as it turns out, the name of your new corrections officer on the magic carpet is Jimmy, a longtime member of AIA and … the most experienced magic carpet instructor in the industry!

For prospective members, a sample of AIA meeting dialogue:

Jimmy:
“Hello everybody, my name is Jimmy and I am an advanced intermediate.”

Group:
“Hi Jimmy!”

Jimmy:
“Hi. I am not doing so well. My edges are dull, my bases are dry, my boots hurt and my goggles are constantly foggy. Recently, I got caught stealing tips while following closely behind a clinic I was too broke to pay for and have since been banished to teaching on the magic carpet by my Ski School Director. My kids have now far surpassed my ability and they no longer wish to be seen with me on the slope. I think my technically disgruntled wife is getting “instruction” from an L3 behind my back.

I have been “cruising” with other advanced intermediates, passing around clever sounding tips and constantly getting high on “aha” moments that, in the end are fleeting, proving to be a smoke and mirror show cocktail of unbridled enthusiasm mixed with inferior stacking and dampened coordination. I actually had a major slip in the lift line the other day - at the very one place that nobody is supposed to be able to tell that I am not a sober expert! That snazzy helmet and goggle combo (literally gape-less) looked cooler in the ski shop mirror than during my lift line face plant. And, here I thought “shrinkage” only happened in the swimming pool. Nope! It happens in snow too. Always jumping around in desperation from quick fix tip to quick fix tip, never really getting anywhere at all and relinquishing a fundamental motor pattern recovery for every new tip I fondle with. Damn it!

I keep spending my last dollar on the next ski that is going to make all my problems go away ... but, because I never find the strength to work on honest fitness and mature coordination, that new ski always ends up kicking my ass and, right when that new Amex bill comes swooping in on me from behind. Regardless, I’m always jonesing for more product and looking for new hookups on CraigsList. Every morning I say to myself that this will be the first day I no longer submit to my dependence on compensatory movements. However, I eventually end up right back where I was, tweaking on poorly timed knee jerk neurological responses that have been haunting me since childhood.

I should have never gone off alone skiing with my technical deadbeat weird uncle Joe at such a young, vulnerable and adaptively impressionable time of life. Sometimes that makes me feel like damaged goods on a pair of sticks. I have recently failed to complete the program at the last two clinics I attended and I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t feel like I’ll ever get off that magic carpet high, but, every time I try to get off that sh*t, I pretty much slide right to the bottom. Still though, why do I struggle so much? Well, I’m a skier and everybody here knows that I, we, will never have a choice but to ski … "

Group member: “Jimmy, just remember: It’s one slay at a time and KISS (keep it skiing stupid)."

Group: “Keep coming Jimmy!!!”

- Right now the AIA group is just Jimmy and me and, honestly, Jimmy may just be a figment of my imagination. Though, I have yet to confirm that affirmatively (broken kaleidoscope). Maybe “I” am Jimmy but … then, who the frick is Dobyman? Awe Jesus ….
Pretty apt and amusing, but , Jesus, someone has too much time on their hands.
 

geepers

Skiing the powder
Skier
Joined
May 12, 2018
Posts
4,256
Location
Wanaka, New Zealand
Shhhhhhh ... Everybody else thinks I'm working diligently on a mind numbing manual for a urological device. So, going to come to a meeting?

Ummmm... black, 1/2 a sugar, please. Actually, make that a 1/3 sugar. Or 85 grains - whichever is less. What brand of coffee is this anyway? Water temp? Extraction time? Was the grinder a blade or a burr?

Ah, thanks, excellent. Now, does the urological device help the skiing...?




At least until the snow falls down under....
 

Doby Man

Out on the slopes
Skier
Joined
Aug 22, 2017
Posts
406
Location
Mostly New England
Well, it is summer...

No problem, this time of year, AIA also supports powder addicts caught in the thralls of withdrawal.

Our opening prayer:

Our Powder, Thow starts in heaven
Hollow be Thy loft;
Thy skidom bum,
Thy ski be run,
on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily shred, and forgive us our poached lines,
as we forgive those who poach lines against us;
yet lead us straight to our temptation,
and deliver us from its reprieval.

Amen
 

Mike King

AKA Habacomike
Instructor
Joined
Nov 13, 2015
Posts
3,383
Location
Louisville CO/Aspen Snowmass
No problem, this time of year, AIA also supports powder addicts caught in the thralls of withdrawal.

Our opening prayer:

Our Powder, Thow starts in heaven
Hollow be Thy loft;
Thy skidom bum,
Thy ski be run,
on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily shred, and forgive us our poached lines,
as we forgive those who poach lines against us;
yet lead us straight to our temptation,
and deliver us from its reprieval.

Amen
Clearly, clearly, you are a talented writer as well as a frustrated (because of a lack of snow) skier/instructor (?)/coach(?). Methinks you need to start a flame thread in the Ski School subform (possible topic of "Jonathan Ballou is a poser," "JF Beaulieu can't find the inside ski," or "Helmets connect you to your inner zen"), book a trip to Chile (@Mattadvproject has a great trip!), or lovingly wax the ski collection while lubing the bike for summer activity...
 

mdf

entering the Big Couloir
Skier
Team Gathermeister
SkiTalk Supporter
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Posts
7,220
Location
Boston Suburbs
Ummmm... black, 1/2 a sugar, please. Actually, make that a 1/3 sugar. Or 85 grains - whichever is less. What brand of coffee is this anyway? Water temp? Extraction time? Was the grinder a blade or a burr?

Ah, thanks, excellent. Now, does the urological device help the skiing...?




At least until the snow falls down under....

Are you implying that coffee IS a urological device? You are probably correct, at least in sufficient volume.
 

Steve

SkiMangoJazz
Pass Pulled
Joined
Nov 13, 2015
Posts
2,338
Clearly, clearly, you are a talented writer as well as a frustrated (because of a lack of snow) skier/instructor (?)/coach(?). Methinks you need to start a flame thread in the Ski School subform (possible topic of "Jonathan Ballou is a poser," "JF Beaulieu can't find the inside ski," or "Helmets connect you to your inner zen"), book a trip to Chile (@Mattadvproject has a great trip!), or lovingly wax the ski collection while lubing the bike for summer activity...

Or speed skate.
 

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