Do you think opposites attract?

[Read Blinn]

Hm. Only thirty-two years on this marriage, but still. We're weirdly the same (on politics, child-rearing, art, psychology, and an eccentric and specific cosmology), and we're weirdly different.

Marriage is like a pearl machine, for us anyway. Where we agree (most things), we see different aspects of things, and we expand together. Where we disagree (she worries about money; I'm vague — planning the future makes her calm, me anxious — she worries things; I wait to see — she fears death; I don't) we wear against each other until a new understanding arises. The irritant in the shell. Now, after a long time sanding each other, I appreciate her ability to plan and to organize money; she appreciates my calm in the face of difficulty. Appreciation has its limits, of course, but it helps to have appreciated that trait when it's driving you crazy.

It hasn't always been easy, but it works better and better each year. She's still my honey, and I'm still hers.

 

[Tricia]

I've lived a life with someone who seems to be on the opposite of every thought and every plan.
This life is much better, because Phil and I row the same direction.
Some differences are healthy, but rowing the same direction is very good.

 

[crgildart]

Similar social paradigms and core values, some similar hobbies and interests, and some totally different hobbies and interests.. That way both get to try new things with someone who has some experience and when they don't care to try one someone is available to stay home and take care of the kids and pets while I'm off skiing hahahahaha..

 

[va_deb]

Don't get me started.

Aw, don't tease us! Give us the top 5. Or at least 3...

 

[va_deb]

me, extrovert. wife, introvert. 'nough said

Same for us except the genders are flipped.

 

[va_deb]

Other. Divorced from the opposite. Oil and water do NOT mix.
My opinion (now that I'm dating and have been seeing the same guy for 8 months) is that the oil and water mix has to be complimentary. Maybe more like oil and vinegar? Has to be the right blend. Throw in some salt, pepper, and herbs or sweetness, and it tosses well with the salad of life

Oooh... Good metaphor.
Even better: reading how happy you are.
(And I like goat cheese on my salad btw.)

 

[mdf]

My wife and I are pretty similar in our basic outlook on life -- temperament, values, politics, etc...
But we have some interests and activities we share and some that we don't. I think that is a good balance.

My in-laws did absolutely everything together. Not for me. At the other end, we have a friend (now a widow) who did very little with her husband. It seemed odd to us, but it seemed to work for them. They were married over 40 years and appeared to be genuinely happy in the limited time they spent together.

 

[surfsnowgirl]

I love my guy but I don't mind he's not quite as into skiing as I am. I get a couple weekends solo and I freaking love my solo time.

 

[TheArchitect]

Attract, yes. Go the distance, less likely.

Agreed. I was married to my opposite for 18 years before divorcing in 2014. We got along great in a number of ways but not in the core values and in the end it was too much to overcome. Now I'm with someone and we're much more in line with each other and I couldn't be happier.

 

[Philpug]

Aw, don't tease us! Give us the top 5. Or at least 3...

This is a family friendly forum. We don't want to scare the kiddies.

 

[va_deb]

Interesting reading! For those of you who started out as money opposites (spenders/spontaneous vs. savers/planners) did you eventually come closer together in terms of alignment? Or did you let the saver/planner take over?

 

[Read Blinn]

Interesting reading! For those of you who started out as money opposites (spenders/spontaneous vs. savers/planners) did you eventually come closer together in terms of alignment? Or did you let the saver/planner take over?

I'm so stupid about money, I'm happy to have married an intelligent wife. Not that I'm a foolish spender, but I operate on immediately available means. If I don't have it, I don't think to spend it. Jennifer knows how to wring blood from a stone, how to be a little risky, how to conserve what we have. We're able to do more because she's good at money.