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Bitching about having to go to a country club
- Thread starter Monique
- Start date
Everyone at the Epic Gathering in 2012 was invited, but no one knew about it.(it was a surprise wedding) It was at Northstar, in the middle of the gathering week February 29th.
The couple that missed it because they hit the wrong meet up place was @bbinder and @margaritamarcia. That made me sad, because it was a mix up.
I'm going to a bridal shower this weekend, and I'm kind of excited about shopping for a dress. It'll have to go with either my Birkenstocks or my Dansko sandals. And I just might get it at REI.
I always said that if I ever got married I don't want a bridal shower or anything like that. I also loathe baby showers. A bachelorette party might be fun but that would just be another night with the girls anyway so no different. I'm really not into any of that formality stuff. I was in 2 of my sisters weddings and well..... I'm not into formal weddings and love fun ones. Vegas, ensenada, New Orleans, beach in socal are ones that come to mind as awesome ones. I respect those who's decisions send them down the formality path but hopefully I don't have to go. Phil/Tricia's wedding sounded divine!!!!!!!
...or maybe we should all realize that the world doesn’t revolve around us and if a bride and groom would like a formal wedding, we can suck it up for a couple hours to honor their wishes?
I still regret not having cowboy boots a year ago.
My hat wasn't a cowboy hat, but I still want to know...who wore it best. Me or RB?
The wildest wedding I've been to was my cousin's wedding in Argentina. The ceremony was at 8 p.m. and then there was a charter bus service to a country club where the reception went all night. There were little food stations all over the grounds, and the food selection was changing regularly. My favorite was the panqueques with dulce de leche at 2 in the morning. I finally left at 5 a.m., and most of the guests were still there.
Not only that, sometimes there are other players like parents and grandparents who might insist on certain traditions so it's not always the bride and groom deciding so they're damned if they do, damned if the don't. I don't understand the parents/grandparents who get so worked up about their child's wedding but those people are out there. I'm grateful that even if I do get married some day I do not have family that will put expectations on me as to how I do it. They'd like to be there but I'm guessing that if I decided to elope they'd be fine with that as well. Not everyone has that luxury.
Gotta love that part of the world. In Chile a couple of years ago for a high school reunion I threw in the towel at 3am and took an Uber back to my AirBnB but the friends I left behind looked at me like I was nuts to be leaving so early. I have no idea how late they stayed.
We were bummed as well! We planned on being at the required spot and got lost!Everyone at the Epic Gathering in 2012 was invited, but no one knew about it.(it was a surprise wedding) It was at Northstar, in the middle of the gathering week February 29th.
The couple that missed it because they hit the wrong meet up place was @bbinder and @margaritamarcia. That made me sad, because it was a mix up.
My dad always, ahem, enjoyed himself immensely when at weddings, bar mitzvahs, and other affairs. These were the times that I really saw him let loose, and the parties were always better as a result. He passed in 1985 and I feel that it is my responsibility and obligation to dress up and have a good time. I swear that I was channeling him at my older daughter’s wedding - most everyone there had never seen that side of me. People tell me that Marcia and I got the party off to the right start.
Sitting in with the band on “Billie Jean”.
Yeah, the only reason I left was that I thought I would end up getting ripped off by a taxi driver if I didn't go home with my much more native Argentiniean aunt.
Following here as our daughter is getting married in PA in August.
Our / my biggest fear and disappointment is she stopped skiing and took up snowboarding when she met her boyfriend in college, the rat bastard !
Her wedding, her day. The last thing we were going to do was chime in and tell them how it was going to be.
We gave her a budget and anything above that is all theirs to spend. Excited for them and for us when they picked a Friday night casual cocktail party with lawn games.
I’m sure I will hear all about how the night ended in the morning, I’m planning on throwing in the towel at midnight.
Best part is we will be back home on Sunday.
Our / my biggest fear and disappointment is she stopped skiing and took up snowboarding when she met her boyfriend in college, the rat bastard !
Her wedding, her day. The last thing we were going to do was chime in and tell them how it was going to be.
We gave her a budget and anything above that is all theirs to spend. Excited for them and for us when they picked a Friday night casual cocktail party with lawn games.
I’m sure I will hear all about how the night ended in the morning, I’m planning on throwing in the towel at midnight.
Best part is we will be back home on Sunday.
To the original topic -
TL;DR - I have confirmed that country clubs are not my thing, but nothing about the experience was bad except for my own expectations. Probably a lesson there somewhere ...
Destination weddings (even in the same country) are stupid expensive for the guests when you calculate in airfare, transportation, hotel, and restaurants. I spent over $1k to see my relatives hitched. Being in a country club didn't add to cost, though. I didn't have to buy any new clothes, and was able to wear some dresses that haven't seen the light of day in years. I did sometimes put on sneakers just to go on walks or whatever, but generally passed muster. I realized that regardless of what others might be wearing, the member who was hosting us wanted us to follow the dress code, which is totally fair. I abided as carefully as possible.
While I'm not accustomed to dressing in anything other than baggy jeans or the equivalent, it turns out that I've managed to acquire some comfortable non-jeans clothing over the years, including sandals. I didn't have any issues with feeling out of sorts or itchy/scratchy/tight/etc clothing. I did have to cinch down the drawstring on my linen pants and then roll over the waistband just to keep them up, but dresses are pretty forgiving, especially of sizing down.
I hear that the new women's gym is going to be fantastic. Still not sure why women need their own gym (and rather curious about whether they will have full free weight setup), but I guess that's just something I don't understand.
I was completely wrong about the demographics. I'm told that it's one of the few country clubs / golf courses (are there any country clubs without golf? honest question) where there is a significant - majority? - black membership. When I observed that everyone I saw was white, it was pointed out to me that that's because my white family brought in 150 guests.
I was feeling pretty great emotionally, so I stupidly did not anticipate a breakdown during the actual wedding and did not bring tissues. My face started leaking, and then my nose started leaking, and no, these were not happy tears. Fortunately, crying during weddings is par for the course, and my mom had a big wad of tissues for me. I just had to keep from sobbing. I thought about running out of the room - I really really wanted to - but didn't want to call attention to myself. The actual ceremony and attendant readings were short, and afterward I ran to the bathroom to compose myself and do a little sobbing. One of my relative's friends - a stranger till that weekend - sat with me. What a good person.
But then the reception was super fun, with lots of dancing on the admittedly very nice dance floor. The NY strip was cooked to within an inch of its life. Someone claimed that this was the correct way to treat this sort of steak. If that's true, it's an abomination. The one awkward moment, which actually didn't affect me emotionally, was when a younger relative asked where Eric was. Oh. So I told him that Eric had died, and after a few questions and my assurance that I'm fine, we moved on to other things. My 78 year old mom with two replacement hips that have been bothering her? She danced the entire time, at least 3.5 hours. Did not stop. Life of the party - the younger guests (I was seated at what I'd consider the kids' table, although the actual kids' table had Legos! I feel cheated!) all loved dancing with her. My dad danced a good bit, too. I got dragged onto the dance floor, where I had fun in spite of myself, as usual in these sorts of scenarios. I had planned to leave early and deal with packing because of an early morning start, but I really couldn't bring myself to leave when my parents were still rockin'! So, not much sleep that night. Thus ensued a whole series of misadventures - forgetting to turn in the rental car keys, security and check in issues, and a plane redirected to Nebraska due to storms - but I did get home in one piece on the same day I flew out of O'Hare, so I guess all's well.
I would never have chosen this sort of wedding for myself, and for that matter didn't allow my parents to pay for any part of the wedding - my parents were retired on a fixed income, while we were both up and coming young professionals - just didn't make sense to me. My parents did pay for the Lionshead hotel in Vail as our wedding gift, which was unexpected and very nice. Pretty sure I spent more on this wedding than we did for my entire wedding. But people have different priorities, and I'm going to go out on a limb when I say that the people who paid for this had ample resources to do so, and were driving the pageantry more than the actual couple getting married. I don't think anyone went into debt or significantly impacted their budget over this event.
On the subject of gyms - I went to a gym 3 miles away, where a day pass costs $10. I don't go to gyms often - ever? - on travel, so I don't know how disconcerting it usually is, but I spent a lot of time asking about X, Y, or Z at the front desk and being told they didn't have it. No bumper plates for deadlifts - I'm doing very light weights for rehab right now, so I was advised to put 45 lb metal plates under my own, which I also sized up. Those were the loudest deadlifts ever. No women's bar. Four kettle bells - two matched, two of different sizes. The decline sit up bench didn't go up to 45* or higher - I've since discovered that my gym may be a bit of an anomaly in having that setup via an attachment to a fully adjustable bench. Oh, also no full sized towels, and I could only get cold water in the shower. Overall, I have a newfound respect for the care the head of my gym puts into choosing his equipment, and texted him as much. My gym is very small, but well appointed. Then again, it could be that someone visiting my gym would find their usual equipment missing - couldn't say.
TL;DR - I have confirmed that country clubs are not my thing, but nothing about the experience was bad except for my own expectations. Probably a lesson there somewhere ...
Destination weddings (even in the same country) are stupid expensive for the guests when you calculate in airfare, transportation, hotel, and restaurants. I spent over $1k to see my relatives hitched. Being in a country club didn't add to cost, though. I didn't have to buy any new clothes, and was able to wear some dresses that haven't seen the light of day in years. I did sometimes put on sneakers just to go on walks or whatever, but generally passed muster. I realized that regardless of what others might be wearing, the member who was hosting us wanted us to follow the dress code, which is totally fair. I abided as carefully as possible.
While I'm not accustomed to dressing in anything other than baggy jeans or the equivalent, it turns out that I've managed to acquire some comfortable non-jeans clothing over the years, including sandals. I didn't have any issues with feeling out of sorts or itchy/scratchy/tight/etc clothing. I did have to cinch down the drawstring on my linen pants and then roll over the waistband just to keep them up, but dresses are pretty forgiving, especially of sizing down.
I hear that the new women's gym is going to be fantastic. Still not sure why women need their own gym (and rather curious about whether they will have full free weight setup), but I guess that's just something I don't understand.
I was completely wrong about the demographics. I'm told that it's one of the few country clubs / golf courses (are there any country clubs without golf? honest question) where there is a significant - majority? - black membership. When I observed that everyone I saw was white, it was pointed out to me that that's because my white family brought in 150 guests.
I was feeling pretty great emotionally, so I stupidly did not anticipate a breakdown during the actual wedding and did not bring tissues. My face started leaking, and then my nose started leaking, and no, these were not happy tears. Fortunately, crying during weddings is par for the course, and my mom had a big wad of tissues for me. I just had to keep from sobbing. I thought about running out of the room - I really really wanted to - but didn't want to call attention to myself. The actual ceremony and attendant readings were short, and afterward I ran to the bathroom to compose myself and do a little sobbing. One of my relative's friends - a stranger till that weekend - sat with me. What a good person.
But then the reception was super fun, with lots of dancing on the admittedly very nice dance floor. The NY strip was cooked to within an inch of its life. Someone claimed that this was the correct way to treat this sort of steak. If that's true, it's an abomination. The one awkward moment, which actually didn't affect me emotionally, was when a younger relative asked where Eric was. Oh. So I told him that Eric had died, and after a few questions and my assurance that I'm fine, we moved on to other things. My 78 year old mom with two replacement hips that have been bothering her? She danced the entire time, at least 3.5 hours. Did not stop. Life of the party - the younger guests (I was seated at what I'd consider the kids' table, although the actual kids' table had Legos! I feel cheated!) all loved dancing with her. My dad danced a good bit, too. I got dragged onto the dance floor, where I had fun in spite of myself, as usual in these sorts of scenarios. I had planned to leave early and deal with packing because of an early morning start, but I really couldn't bring myself to leave when my parents were still rockin'! So, not much sleep that night. Thus ensued a whole series of misadventures - forgetting to turn in the rental car keys, security and check in issues, and a plane redirected to Nebraska due to storms - but I did get home in one piece on the same day I flew out of O'Hare, so I guess all's well.
I would never have chosen this sort of wedding for myself, and for that matter didn't allow my parents to pay for any part of the wedding - my parents were retired on a fixed income, while we were both up and coming young professionals - just didn't make sense to me. My parents did pay for the Lionshead hotel in Vail as our wedding gift, which was unexpected and very nice. Pretty sure I spent more on this wedding than we did for my entire wedding. But people have different priorities, and I'm going to go out on a limb when I say that the people who paid for this had ample resources to do so, and were driving the pageantry more than the actual couple getting married. I don't think anyone went into debt or significantly impacted their budget over this event.
On the subject of gyms - I went to a gym 3 miles away, where a day pass costs $10. I don't go to gyms often - ever? - on travel, so I don't know how disconcerting it usually is, but I spent a lot of time asking about X, Y, or Z at the front desk and being told they didn't have it. No bumper plates for deadlifts - I'm doing very light weights for rehab right now, so I was advised to put 45 lb metal plates under my own, which I also sized up. Those were the loudest deadlifts ever. No women's bar. Four kettle bells - two matched, two of different sizes. The decline sit up bench didn't go up to 45* or higher - I've since discovered that my gym may be a bit of an anomaly in having that setup via an attachment to a fully adjustable bench. Oh, also no full sized towels, and I could only get cold water in the shower. Overall, I have a newfound respect for the care the head of my gym puts into choosing his equipment, and texted him as much. My gym is very small, but well appointed. Then again, it could be that someone visiting my gym would find their usual equipment missing - couldn't say.
Yes there are. Right here in the Denver metro actually. Mount Vernon Country Club www.mountvernoncc.com where my family had a social membership for over 50 years is primarily social (dining), tennis, and a pool.
I'm glad the wedding went reasonably well for you.
And even if they aren't insisting, sometimes you just know. I didn't have alcohol at my reception solely because of my grandparents, who were from a time and place where that would have bothered them. I mean, you guys know RB and me, this wasn't "our wish" at all lol but I knew that respecting my grandparents, who didn't live all that much longer, was a lot more important. The reception was fun anyway, and then we went to the bars afterward, which actually ended up being more fun than having to do everything AT the reception. I was able to hang out with my friends and have no obligations to continue meeting and greeting the whole time.
Yeah, doesn't sound like it! But (and I have to work harder to remember this), sometimes a bit of a sacrifice is worth it to make those we love more comfortable. Alcohol is nice, but I've never *needed* it to have a good time.
I don't play golf but....
On a daily basis, I wear scrubs for a living and jeans/t-shirts/sweaters/shorts/sandals/hiking shoes/ski clithws/helmet/hats/caps.
(Once a week I do admin duties at work & dress professionally)
The times in my life that I have either invited to a friend's club, or dinner in a nice restaurant, High Tea at the Brown Palace, weddings...and even sometimes friends that require a certain "dress" (dinner, Academy Award parties, etc) I have enjoyed pulling out the random outfit that hides in my closet JUST for those types of occasions. It's fun! I would rather have a stash of clothing I don't wear all the time, then not go to functions.
There are 3 of us, including me, in my circle of friends with birthdays within a few days of each other. We usually get together for dinner near the date with the three of us and our spouses. The year I tuned 60 we went to a neighborhood Italian place. I wore my tuxedo.
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