Best Things heard on the mountain....

[Ron]

I was recently discussing one of the funniest things I ever heard while skiing....

Last season in Jackson, a dude entered a section way too hot and endo'd down a steep and icy section. @Chris Geib @FTM @SBrown @coskigirl and @SkiNurse and I were just coming into the section, Sbrown skied down with others to hopefully find him still breathing..... as we skied over, we called down "Is he OK?", Sbrown responded "yeah, he's just bleeding"

 

[Ron]

Feel free to post up other tasty bits....


Last season on a deep morning around Christmas I shared the gondi with some folks who has southern drawls (that's all I'm saying) and the woman says to her husband, "this is terrible! When are the snow plows gonna come out and get rid of all this powder"

 

[Blue Streak]

OK, here's at true story.
I'm sitting on the lift at Vail with a nice lady from Texas (back in the days when they did midday grooming), and a sign on one of the pylons read "CAUTION SNOW CATS," or something to that effect.
She looked at me with a suprised and somewhat fearful expression and asked, "Are there really snow cats on the mountain!"
I didn't miss a beat.
"Yes Maam, you must have missed the piece last week in the Vail Daily. A Texan was attacked on Born Free and eaten by one on Friday."

 

[Philpug]

Not on the mountain but when we were at the base of Copper..we were asked "Where's the ski hill at?"

 

[Ron]

^^ Ouch... I would think that would be at the boat!

 

[coskigirl]

Not on the mountain but when we were at the base of Copper..we were asked "Where's the ski hill at?"

Maybe they were hoping for a hill instead of a mountain? :confused:

 

[Drahtguy Kevin]

"The East Wall got douched by jack wagons traversing across the fall line." -- @SBrown. Maybe not a direct quote by pretty close.

 

[Don in Morrison]

I was riding up the lift with a buddy and someone biffed it pretty bad down below. The only thing my buddy could think of to say was, "Do you need an ambulance?" Turns out he was ok.

 

[Drahtguy Kevin]

Another, not so much a heard but a seen. I was on Lenawee Lift at A-Basin with FTM. We saw a knuckle dragger dressed like a rodeo clown hauling anus when he caught his tip and slingshoted face first. First thing he did when he got up was check his teeth. Still chuckle when I go over that area.

 

[Don in Morrison]

I was with another friend, getting ready to hop onto the T-bar. It was his first ride on a T-bar. I spend 10 minutes in the lift line lecturing him on proper T-bar technique, including the perils of sitting on the T-bar. Tried to tell him that sitting on the T-bar was a guaranteed horrible death, that it was not a survivable event. Since y'all already know how that played out, as he was picking himself up after the crash, I said to him, "I told you not to sit on the bar." Whereupon he replied, in all earnestness, "How did you know?"

 

[KevinF]

Getting into Stowe's Goat trail -- one of more (in)famous bump runs in New England -- involves a 50' traverse through the trees past the usual double-black diamond signs, "experts only" signs, etc. Once you're in, you're immediately greeted with rocks, ice and moguls.

At any rate, one time I came in and the previous person had yard sale'd so I helped him collect his gear. I asked him if he was ok and he responded "yeah... I didn't realize there would be moguls".

WTF?

 

[Brad J]

I had brought my older cousin to to Alta and we hit a great day with 12"+ of fresh powder, my cousin being a longtime eastern skier at lunch said " this will be good once this gets packed out"

 

[Tricia]

Best thing heard on the mountain: BOOM!
Love hearing the avy control in the morning

 

[SBrown]

I was recently discussing one of the funniest things I ever heard while skiing....

Last season in Jackson, a dude entered a section way too hot and endo'd down a steep and icy section. @Chris Geib @FTM @SBrown @coskigirl and @SkiNurse and I were just coming into the section, Sbrown skied down with others to hopefully find him still breathing..... as we skied over, we called down "Is he OK?", Sbrown responded "yeah, he's just bleeding"

For some reason, the girls in my family think bleeding faces are funny. [photoshop cred: Midwest Pete from epic]

 

[Andy Mink]

I grew up skiing in PA. My wife grew up skiing Tahoe. On one visit back east we drove past Camelback. I told her that was my ski area. She said it looks more like a golf course. Apparently everything is relative.

 

[Jilly]

Skiing down Nansen at Tremblant, green beginners long run, came across an adult male having problems getting up after a fall. Helped him up. In his clipped british voice he stated that - real snow is slipperier than the carpet! Duh....And probably colder too!

 

[KingGrump]

Best thing heard on the mountain: BOOM!
Love hearing the avy control in the morning

Yup, my favorite ring tone for my morning alarm in the mountains.
The best part is most patrols are very considerate and usually hold off the start the control work until 7:00 am even though they are up there way earlier.

 

[Lorenzzo]

I'm riding up Payday, a six pack, with an east coaster who had obviously just gotten into town. He asked me: "So this is a detachable chair?" I said ""Yes." He then asked: "When does it detach?"

Then he looks down at my skinny race skis and asks, with condescension: "So you're just learning?"

 

[Muleski]

Our son skied for a season as a PG with the Jackson Hole Ski Club. He hit the record snow year there, and they "sadly" had a number of days when their training had to be cancelled at Snow King with all of the fresh snow, and they were "forced" to go ski at the village in the knee deep stuff. He jokes that it nearly ruined his race career, and re-ignited his passion for just letting it rip. He was riding up the big red box one day, and was wearing a JHSC coat. He's always looked older than his age, and a woman next to him presumed that he was a coach, I guess. She asked him if he lived in Jackson. Yes.

Then she asked him: "At what elevation do the deer turn into elk?"

As he tells the story, he didn't miss a beat, and said something like "As closely as they can measure it, at about 6200 feet…." She nodded and thanked him.

We still joke about it all the time. The other classic one he heard in CO was: "Is that the same sun that we have in Texas?"

 

[Monique]

Last weekend at Loveland, going up the lift, the topic of the Enforcer came up. Dude-bro next to us says, "Oh yeah, my friend had the proto pair - the only one they made." Me: "Oh, the black one?" Him: "Yeah!" Me: "I'm pretty sure you're wrong, unless your friend's name is Phil and he skis in Tahoe." Dude-bro looked very confused, and wasn't sure how to keep bragging.