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Squaw Valley Resort has abandoned the idea of the California Express gondola, which would connect Squaw Valley’s main resort with Alpine Meadows. In an 11th-hour reversal of plans, Squaw Valley has decided that Alpine Meadows would be better suited as a premium private members-only resort.

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According to unnamed sources, “The original plans of the connecting lift, including White Wolf, made sense from a marketing perspective, but the combination of two competing resorts created a marketing barrier that Squaw could not compete against in acreage. The plan continued past the initial design, but the concept of shifting to a private resort gained momentum over the years and looks to be financially viable.”

An independent management consulting firm is searching for a spokesperson and ambassador for the resort; applications are currently being accepted. The ideal candidate should be a local, recognizable community activist who is both a psychologist and an author.

For the 2020-21 season, Alpine Meadows will be not be in operation, but it will reopen for the following season as an exclusive members-only resort with the tagline “I A.M. and you’re not.” Membership will start with an estimated initial buy-in of $400,000 and yearly privilege packages starting at $100,000 per person. Seat licensing for the all-new chairlift network will start at $2,500, and the option of owning a personal gondola is being discussed. Ikon passholders will not have access to the private Alpine Meadows resort, but there was discussion of a one-day-per-season privilege. After the pool scene from "Caddyshack" was played, however, that idea was immediately dismissed.

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Construction of the first of four 200-unit luxury condo complexes will begin in the summer of 2020, right after the current main base facility has been demolished. The condo complexes will have units ranging from 256 to 5,000 square feet; the large suites will be named after famous Squaw Valley/Alpine Meadows locals. Pricing will start in the low $300s for half shares; units above that will be priced accordingly. To remain environmentally conscious, all materials from the current base lodge will be repurposed at a cost twice what new materials would be. All units will have access to private underground parking capable of fitting the Trustafarian vehicle of choice, 4WD high-roof Sprinter vans. Each unit will also have its own Tesla Supercharger station. The condo complex will offer 24-hr concierge service, a complete ski shop and tuning center, and an on-call bootfitter.

Alpine Meadows' world-class terrain will be transformed with a fleet of state-of-the-art PistenBullies that will groom every run into corduroy -- maybe even velvet or Egyptian cotton. (Those not looking for the Nth degree of smoothness will find a "burlap" setting.) All employees will go through extensive barista training and be fluent in every diet trend.




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